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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in thelastdalek's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
12:41 pm
the doctor in his RETARDIS
looks a bit silly
with his trousers covered in piss
covering his small willy
only a dalek can say "fuck it"
and with his big enough head
fill your smelly big bucket
you'll wish all other men dead
Friday, July 15th, 2005
8:48 am

THIS is what you get when you download the Internet: Everytime i wake up i am bombarded with 2 bajillion willion shareware programs wanting registering. those humans are not to be underestimated in their defence tactics.

in retaliation i have decided to target the world leaders of Earth.

Just as the fewer-in-number Black Daleks are ranking officers in our Dalek army, i have decided to imprison the "Ginger" people on Earth. to this end i have covertly taken control of Earth's obvious capital "Ireland". some appear to be trying to communicate but i can't understand their primitive dialect.

edit: mission abandoned.

Ranking humans attempted to improve the physical mobility of a superior time-travelling ethnic-cleansing Dalek Stormtrooper by hooking up horses to the front.
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
8:25 pm
aplogies for the lack of communication as of late. i have been on an island known as "Ireland" which i had deduced to be in earth's prehistoric ages, but after a few weeks i have found a computer terminal.

my research here has led me to discover some plans set in motion by an enemy of mine (i.e. a non-dalek)

the plan is to infiltrate Earth's over-valued entertainment industry and gradually enslave the planet. honestly. you'd never see a dalek try that old chestnut!!!

here's definitive evidence:

Bad Disguise WarningCollapse )

Ireland's boring and i have been kicked by two donkeys. this is not how the progeny of perfection should live.
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
3:27 pm
Today i transported to a shithole in earth's 21st century and have been confronted by humanity's self-titled "chosen warrior" hoping to defeat me through what i can only assume is a ritualistic form of combat known as "rap-battling"

After the inevitable victory of the Daleks i will post transcripts.

Remember i have the internet. I harness the combined creative thoughts of chavs, Ice-T and Will Smith. I will not be defeated.
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
4:15 pm
He isn't the right man for her!
i was sitting in a bath about to exterminate the wall and thus my pitiful self when i heard this in my head:

"Attention! Attention! Emergency! Emergency! All Daleks return to control immediately!"

sounded like the emperor, so i went to see what was up with the old guy, havent seen him in ages.

when i arrived there were daleks fighting OTHER DALEKS!!! i was like "omgwtf!"

so i walked over to a black one and asked what team i'm meant to be on and he said "Them Daleks are pussies! fucking pussies! they laugh and cry and stuff! like pussies! they even write poetry!"
"how could this be?" i asked
"They're contaminated with all sortsa human shit!" says he

i'm like "heh.. tralalala" :-/ talk about an awkward silence!

and all through the battle my love for Rose is acting like some sort of armour protecting me.

I met a nice dalek called "Beta" who was my friend. he was very nice. he taught me a game called "Dizzy" then i taught him water balloon fights.hehe funny as fuck me! ;)

so anyway now they're all electrocuted like the men in van stattons. then i see the Doctor running past. and now i know he's gonna try the take the credit. twat.

I follow him but there's no Rose?!?! he's with some posh bint called "Victoria" oh i bet he hasn't told you about his other women has he rose?

he isn't who you think he is! he's a BAD WOLF in sheep's clothing!

Rose the doctor is a charlaton
tricking you with his charms
making you his harlot
bending you over
inserting his ARMS!
Rose I will warn you
and you will be my lover

Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
9:22 pm
i'm just so depressed. why do i even bother chasing after her?

i'm never going to find her. there's an infinite number of times and places she could be, i can't believe i let her go like that :(

i should have just exterminated the dr and took her with me, at least we'd be together, but no i wanted to look cool and this is where it's gotten me

maybe i SHOULD just kill myself

i let you go, i watched you sail
as i drown in this sea of time
do you know i flail?
do you remember my name?
and if i were to die now
would everyone feel the same?


Current Mood: I may never find her
Monday, May 9th, 2005
9:35 am
Another Dalek still lives. Though he has modified himself so much I find it hard to even call him that.

I went to a galaxy far, far away, where he was the leader of a scouting expedition.

You wouldn't believe how much he has changed.

First he was black and now he's white and blue. his Top-Section viewing plunger has been dramatically reduced and he conceals his weaponry. he's shrunk to a shadow of his former self and his voice is so unbelievably squeaky and high-pitched nowadays it shames me to believe other species might associate him with our mighty master race. also i heard he has an usual pleasure in watching new soldiers still in the breeding laboratories, but the trial for that that was never resolved since the timelords "cut proceedings short" with their self-righteous genocide

Before and After shotsCollapse )

disgraceful. so i exterminated his ass.

Rose you must believe
That the master race are we
and while imposters try to deceive
to evolve you must shag me
Saturday, May 7th, 2005
5:20 pm
well! the past 3 days ive been in a place known as "G34.3"

the planet in the middle was known as "Bellevue public planet" so i decided to see if anyone had seen the Dr or, more to the point, my beloved Rose since i lost their signal.


This area contains over 400 trillion trillion pints of alcohol in one gaseous cloud. when i awoke a man was beside me in a ritual chamber of rest and mating. there was an unsual excretory substance to be found on my long laser whisk... i do not know how it got there but the man beside me was dead: obviously exterminated. i may never know what happened last night, as my organic memory bank seems to have been chemically impeeded.

the next night i awoke beside a girl who looked remarkably like Rose. i do not know how she came to be here but had died of some sort of traumatic episode less than 12 hours previous, there was a look of absolute terror on her face.

i must leave this system, the more i stay the farther Rose slips from my embrace. when i asked a local about the Doctor he pointed me to an area known as "Sagittarius B2". i was surprised he (thought?) he had heard of the doctor.

Inebriation and Copulation
With Rose the subject of my adoration
a cloud as far as a plunger can see
ethanol and rohypnol
for you from me

Thursday, May 5th, 2005
8:15 pm
Rose's boyfriend the Doctor stopped our love with a large alien hand-cannon.

i pretended to destroy myself and the dumb broad having been in the Doctor's TARDIS still couldn't recognise a simple teleportation

I took off my helmet yesterday and she thought i was an alien toilet on the former Protoss Homeworld, it was so romantic <3

women humans have odd excretory organs, they're all wrinkly and with little bits in. i will have to study this further.

This reminds me. i have to clean out the toilet in my battle suit, it's getting a bit wooooo in here! it's situated directly underneath the control station in the bit with the domes on

I wonder if i have enough organic biomass to perform a cloning experiment?

would it still be her?

i don't think i love just her flawed human body. she was very nice to me and i swear we were getting along very well

i must talk to her, but to do that i must get rid of the last of the timelords :(

From Rose such a beautiful human
There arose such a love so blooming
let us travel the stars
infect them with SARS
Rule this universe at my side
you are the moon to my tide

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
10:05 pm

Current Mood: Aroused
9:55 pm
I have made another discovery on the internet

This HUMAN must die:

I have Transferred all the child-human porn on the internet to his home computer

now to see Rose <3

9:39 pm
After years of being held captive by an evil billionaire, I have been freed.

I met the Doctor which was nice, I've heard a lot about him.

Having escaped i decided to harvest the "Internet" which is full of many naked humans. Their weakness seems to be when two are together, as their faces seem to shows signs of pain or something.

When I absorbed livejournal something washed over me. guilt? doubt? am i emo?

what am i doing with my life?

Davros genetically created us to hate. Is there more to life?

I met a girl. Her name is Rose and she is very beautiful. She seems to have a will beyond genetic engineering, i found an audio transmission where she imposes her will unto others. "Because we want to"

I believe she would make a great Dalek.

Will she love me? I feel... I don't know. What if she doesn't like me?

After I disconnect from this Computer I will expose my organic components and Slip out my slimey tentacly penis for her. I hope she likes me, we are two seperate species, but THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN MATTER! :(

I hope she likes me <3

I wrote her a poem:

Rose oh Rose
Hear my prose
here i have been enslaved
with you i am saved
love me because you want to
let us finally mate
and after my aftersex poo
we can travel and EXTERMINATE


Current Mood: contemplative
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